Thursday, November 20, 2008

Danger WIll Robinson, Danger!

If you've known me for any length of time then you know I have become a bit of a foodie (understatement). When we were first married my better half had a job on the other side of the city and she didn't get home until 6:00 every night. I on the other hand worked two blocks away and walked to and from work each day, arriving back at home by 3:45 every day. This lasted through new jobs, kids, split shifts etc... There were years when I worked and she didn't (young kids) but for the most part I took over the cooking duties the longer we were married. In spite of someone's complaints of a dinner consisting of boiled ravioli stuck to paper plates (no tomato sauce because that was just evil) I slowly learned how to cook. I experimented and just tried to make things that I would like.

I thought about starting a list of the foods I've grown to love, but I thought it would just be better to list the things I really can't find a way to like. I'd be happy to hear from others on this subject so if you comment I'll eventually create a series of writings on foods people hate and why. Tomato sauce doesn't count because there are way too many dishes that just can't be without tomato sauce. Here we go on a first pass:



Pork pie - We tried baking a store bought pork pie once. The best thing that ever happened to it was that it fell (face down on the floor) before we tried to eat it. Believe me, the floor dirt was an improvement and actually tastier than the pie. This should not be confused with French Canadian meat pie (toque).


Brussel Sprouts - I love vegetables, but there are no redeeming qualities to brussel sprouts. They are tasteless, hard little lumps of green leaves that taste like someone boiled a bunch of acorns. I've tried them steamed, boiled, sauteed with butter and roasted. It seems that I should like them. Someone please make me brussel sprouts that are edible and tasty.

Kiwi - A fruit with little tiny, hard seeds. The texture is annoyingly bad, almost as bad as...

Star fruit - A little tiny hard fruit with no taste whatsoever.

Haggis - To my friends and former co-workers in Scotland, I can't believe this is your national food. Intestinal parts (offal) cooked in a stomach lining and dropped on the plate. And to top it off you get to open it yourself by piercing the lining with a knife and letting it all release the steam at once. Maybe I didn't drink enough beer and scotch in Scotland. I'll take the steak, medium rare please. Which brings up....

Blood sausage - Need I say anything more.


Liver and onions - Anything that smells that bad when it is cooking just isn't worth it.


Warm cereal, any warm cereal - It's warm, it's mushy... what can I say.

Skim milk - You might as well drink water.


Please join me. Let's bash some food.

2 comments:

Wilhelmina said...

HEY! Tomato sauce counts!

And for the record, whenever I get into a "gross food your parents used to serve you" contest with anyone, I always have the trump card: Salmon loaf. Even the name is gross.

Josh said...

i actually don't hate brussel sprouts. All that talk about them being bad and then i ate them and they weren't so bad.

Meat pie rocks, not sure about pork pie, but that sounds like a scene from American Pie which automatically makes it a no-no.

Kiwi is also very delicious (what's wrong with you?).

Salmon Loaf is amazing!!!!

I'm not a fan of sauteed mushrooms. talk about bad textures...bleh.

Peas are disgusting. Maybe it's just their association with The Exorcist though.